I had all the mo's gathered at my house around date time. Mind you it wasn't on purpose. They were hanging out like they often do in the house as he pulled up. I was terrified and franticly flapping around for a good three hours beforehand. I imagined every horrible circumstance that was possible as I'm often guilty of doing. Is he a serial killer? Is he going to like me at all? Who's gonna pay? What the hell are we going to talk about?
These thoughts and more were racing through my head as I stepped into his tan oldsmobile and calmy introduced myself with a handshake. (Why do I and so many others treat strangers like .. they're strangers? I've since come to the realization people are just people but there's a whole other lecture in that.) He was talking like a maniac the second I came into the car though so all I had to do was sit there, smile, and nod every so often. I didn't know at that point, this was how the rest of the date was going to be- him bragging about his different conquests in life and me trying my very best not to look away in disgust. The car ride there should have been enough to inform me to RUN. RUN HOME.
First there was the mention of his dead sibling. (So I confess, nothing turns me on like a good story of tragedy. I wish I could say I was joking but I am completely serious. When someone starts yapping about their dead dog or grandma with alzheimer's and their eyes glaze over because they're processing the event for themselves more than sharing a story with you... yea that makes me want to jump a boy's bones!) Maybe he knew this because the dead sister mention came from nowhere and was completely irrelevant to anything we were talking about. It was strange and made me uncomfortable more than anything else. If that weren't bad enough, he then tried to justify to me that sixteen year olds are hot. I don't even understand how he managed to bring that up in our five minutes of conversation! It's not something I'm horribly against (I've been caught more than one time ravaging high school boys... with my eyes), but in ten minutes time of meeting someone, not the most appropriate. Again, this was all in the ten minute car ride to the coffee shop!
Fast forward to the coffee shop, he takes out his phone and proceeds to show me all kinds of goodies. By goodies of course I mean pictures of his ex-conquests. Whoever clued him in on my weakness for tragedy didn't let him in on my biggest pet peeve in life which is playing with phones during a date. And of all things to be showing me, why this?
Fast forward to dropping me off. The climax to my own tragedy of a date was when he mentioned his previous korean girlfriends. Boys, this is a huge no-no. In general talking about your exes on a first date is usually a no-no isn't it? The second he parked the car I had the door open, but his story wasn't finished. So there I sat door ajar listening about his korean ex-girlfriend and the generalizations he's made from dating her.
Boy might be retarded.
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