The Druggie.

Gayface. That's all I could think when this guy messaged me. It's a real thing as Scientific American will tell you! He had the odd look/mannerisms of my best friend. At worst this could be a great friendship is what I was thinking as I responded to his message.

Why did I get into this whole online dating ordeal in the first place, my friend asked a few days ago. He tells me I don't want a boyfriend. I like my sovereignty too much and am literally looking to screw around. Well I really don't know if he's right or not but I can say for sure the reason I'm doing it so aggressively this summer is because I have nothing to lose. I'm spending a few months in a new city where I have no friends and I'm eager to explore. I'll admit some of my favorite interactions are with what Fight Club calls "single-serving friends". I turn my schmooze on, have an instant connection with someone, and everyone leaves happy. So I am guilty of using this as simply a way or meeting new people. What's the harm in that?

I've heard introverts as people that lose energy being in large groups and socializing and extroverts as those that gain energy through social interactions. I'm the best example of this that I know. I get a drug-like rush meeting new people and being forced into "uncomfortable" social situations. Ironically I'm also the queen of self-sabotage but we'll get to that later.

So the Druggie and I had fantastic conversations on music and he gave me a mixtape which... is probably the fastest way to my heart!

Fastforward to the meeting. He was short and wiry. There is no way to get around that. A guy once told that at first glance of meeting someone he assesses them. If it's a man he assesses who could kill the other in a fight. If it's a woman he assesses if they're "fuckable". As he was explaining this to me a look of horror crossed my face. First it was horror that anyone can function like that... and then it was horror that I too functioned like that. I can't help it but when I saw this dude I immediately thought "damn, I'd crush you". I have not a single clue what was going on in his mind. Perhaps it was "damn, she'd crush me".

Conversation went amazingly smoothly. 20 minutes in we were talking about hallucinogenics and how they've impacted our lives. As much as I too indulge in said hallucinogenics, I usually loathe hearing about people's experiences in excess and how they're the best moments of their lives. There's too much goodness I've experienced drug-free on this earth. I like drugs and think they have improved my life, amplified some great experiences, and have been a great tool for self-reflection but I don't constantly need any substance to enjoy living. I guess this entire rant is directed at a single person in my life that is constantly on drugs and would disagree with that last statement completely... but again that's for a rainy day.

So Druggie and I talk about drugs for a bit but it's not at all annoying. There's some talk of music, Pittsburgh, and gosh in general it was pretty fantastic. That's the thing about two socially aware people though. Both of us were trying to put each other at ease with relative success, but I couldn't tell how much of it was actual attraction vs. how much of it was politeness on either end. I guess it really doesn't matter in the end because I had a good time. Again no sex in sight for us, but I wonder if I can make a friend out of this one?