I've had many awkward correspondences gone wrong in the past. In the early days of facebook, when etiquette of social networking wasn't really established and people didn't limit themselves with boundaries, I'd receive a handful of messages from random strangers I had not met yet. I'm talking specifically about people who contacted me before I even arrived in college to talk about "stuff". Stuff could be anything from jazz to campus dining. These individuals and I made very loose plans to meet up, but with the fast pace of first semester it just never happened. Then when I was finally introduced to the person in real life through mutual friends, or recognized their face as they crossed the street, a pang of embarrassment went through my stomach. We had talked so in depth and then failed to make any real connection in the real world.
So... Footstomper. This was back when I was much more nervous about the online dating ordeal. I was reluctant to meet people I hadn't spoken to for a while and genuinely believed you can tell a lot about someone through their messages. (I still believe you can read a good 60% of someone through their messages, but that's not close enough to justify me liking someone!)
Footstomper and I shared page upon page of stimulating messages and it was a nice brain massage to have to respond to someone that cared and had an equal amount to share. After weeks of correspondences (which alone would make a nice little book), we decided to meet for milkshakes.
DATE
First appearances matter a lot. Whether you're willing to admit it to yourself or not, it determines how you feel about the person immediately. This guy truthfully looked like a bit of a mess. His personality wasn't too far from that either. We greeted each other with an awkward hug. Some people just aren't good at hugs and he happens to be one of them. It was a cold grip. It was within three minutes, he was crossed out of my book. He accidentally stepped on my right foot and instead of apologizing said, "let me step on your other foot to make it even". Yes, he went ahead and stepped on my left foot too.
Was this a nervous tick? Well, he continued to talk about his sad life. If there is only one thing I want in a partner/friend/human-being, it's an excitement for life. He talked about humanity negatively and didn't flow with my optimistic humanistic existence. I went home discouraged, with a bad taste in my mouth. He texted me that night saying he had a great time and if I wanted to meet up again. I don't remember the last time I had to outright reject someone. Usually a casual slipping away is suffice. It would be a waste of his and my time to try to make this work. He just didn't have the bare essentials I thought necessary. "Sorry, I don't think we're compatible" I wrote.
He then proceeded to give me an award on okcupid, announcing to the world that I'm intelligent and a catch. I guess this guy never fails to keep surprising me.
Last week, more than a month after our meeting, I saw he had joined couchsurfing and begun posting on the boards after I recommended it to him.
Online dating can be weird like that.
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